I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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