i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
