i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
