Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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