just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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