I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
