Do you still have your period?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
