Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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