big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Your penis caused this!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
