I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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