He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
