i wish peter jackson would direct porn
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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