Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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