i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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