i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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