I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
