Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
