Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
no you cant smoke seaweed
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
