we're blogging at a bar
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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