I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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