I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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