time to smoke my breakfast
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
