Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
