i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
