I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
