he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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