From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
