The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
