I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i drank out of a bidet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
