Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
