I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize