Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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