glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
