We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
