If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I AM VODKA MAN
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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