I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
