We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
