Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
