They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
