did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
