He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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