and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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