Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
