I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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