I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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