just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
