help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
