Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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