we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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