Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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