Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it because I queefed?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I want her autograph on my taint
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
