so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
