moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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