she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize