i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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