I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
