Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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