where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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