The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
