i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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