I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize